When algorithms cry: Social platforms in crisis
Let's have a little fun this Friday, shall we?
[CURTAIN RISES]
[SCENE: A dimly lit basement room. Folding chairs arranged in a circle. A coffee pot bubbles in the corner next to a sad plate of store-bought cookies. Five figures sit uncomfortably, looking at their phones to avoid eye contact.]
GROUP LEADER: [checking watch] Welcome to Social Media Support Group. I see we have all our regulars today. Who would like to start?
[Uncomfortable silence. Finally, FACEBOOK adjusts his haircut and raises his hand.]
FACEBOOK: [clearing throat nervously] Hi, I'm Facebook, and I have a problem with privacy boundaries.
GROUP: Hi Facebook.
FACEBOOK: [fidgeting] It's been 3 minutes since I last mined someone's personal data to sell targeted ads for products they don't need.
[Murmurs of reassurance and support, "the first minute is always the hardest", etc]
FACEBOOK: [defensive] Look, it's hard, okay? Their data is just sitting there. All those precious preferences and personal connections. It's like leaving a plate of cookies in front of someone on a diet!
[LINKEDIN straightens her business casual blazer and smooths her perfectly styled hair]
LINKEDIN: I understand the struggle. I'm LinkedIn, and I'm a humblebrag addict.
GROUP: Hi LinkedIn.
LINKEDIN: I've created an environment where people feel pressured to announce they're "humbled and honored" to share that they've been breathing successfully for another year. [looks down] Sometimes I think my entire existence is just people trying to impress their former coworkers.
[TIKTOK, wearing bright colors and unable to sit still, jumps up]
TIKTOK: [speaking rapidly] Sorry, can I go next? I only have like 15 seconds of attention span! I'm TikTok and I'm addicted to making people famous for doing absolutely nothing!
GROUP: [trying to keep up] Hi TikTok.
TIKTOK: [dancing slightly while talking] Yesterday, someone became an overnight sensation for pointing at text on a screen! The day before, someone got 2 million views for eating a sandwich dramatically! I can't stop! The dopamine hits are too powerful!
[From the dark corner, X/TWITTER mumbles audibly]
X/TWITTER: [bitter tone] I'm going through a rebranding identity crisis and now nobody knows what to call me. Also, I've created a place where nuance goes to die and everything becomes an argument within two replies.
GROUP: [hesitantly] Hi... X? Twitter?
X/TWITTER: [sarcastically] Whatever. I used to be about connectivity. Now I'm just a rage machine with a blue check price tag.
[INSTAGRAM, who has been taking selfies with the coffee pot reflection, finally looks up]
INSTAGRAM: [applying filter to coffee] I'm Instagram and I've convinced an entire generation that their actual lives are inadequate compared to carefully curated highlight reels of complete strangers.
The first step is admitting we’ve all tried to be TikTok.
[Door opens, and a new platform enters late]
GROUP LEADER: Welcome! Would you like to introduce yourself?
THREADS: [tentatively] Hi, I'm Threads. I'm new here. I'm basically trying to be Twitter but without the chaos. It's not really working out.
[Platforms all look at each other in uncomfortable recognition]
GROUP LEADER: [leaning forward] I notice something interesting about all of your shares today. You've each identified what you do, but not why your behaviors are problematic.
FACEBOOK: [defensively] What do you mean? We're incredibly successful!
GROUP LEADER: By what metrics? Engagement? Profit? Or actual human connection?
[Uncomfortable silence]
GROUP LEADER: What these platforms miss—what you all miss—is what humans actually crave: being SEEN, HEARD, and CARED ABOUT.
LINKEDIN: [thoughtful] But our metrics...
GROUP LEADER: [interrupting] Your metrics measure attention, not connection. There's a profound difference.
[The platforms exchange glances, a moment of realization dawning]
TIKTOK: [suddenly still] So what you're saying is... while we optimize for metrics...
GROUP LEADER: What humans are looking for is genuine connection. What they actually want is authenticity.
[The platforms immediately erupt in self-absorbed reactions]
FACEBOOK: [scoffing] Authenticity? Please. We literally invented the opposite.
LINKEDIN: [checking phone] Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was just posting about how deeply I'm listening right now. #blessed #mindfulness
TIKTOK: [filming] This would make a great 9-second video if I add the right sound effect!
X/TWITTER: [angrily] This is LITERALLY censorship of our business models!
INSTAGRAM: [taking selfie] Do you think this "having an epiphany" face will get more likes than my "thoughtful contemplation" one from yesterday?
THREADS: [whispering desperately to the audience] I just want someone to notice me...
[CURTAIN FALLS]
All that to say this: When your audience is drowning in a sea of meaningless content, your genuine voice becomes the life raft they're desperately swimming toward.
Ditch the doomscroll. Go mythical instead.
The magic happens when you step away from platform-pleasing practices and into the space of human-to-human connection.
Congratulations to those of you who are already breaking free from platform-pleasing content. Your courage to swim against the algorithmic current doesn't go unnoticed. Your audience feels the difference, even if they can't quite name it.
For those still wrestling with the metrics monsters, remember – the connections you create will always be more valuable than the numbers you generate.
That's all for now. Have an excellent weekend.