🔥 How to turn 17 marketing tactics into a raging dumpster fire

I was watching an episode of Chopped last night where an overconfident chef literally threw EVERY basket ingredient into a single pot, along with about fifteen extra ingredients.

For the uninitiated, Chopped is a cooking show where chefs receive mystery baskets with random ingredients. They must transform the ingredients into spectacular food under ridiculous time constraints.

The judges' faces told the whole story before they even tasted the results. It was... unfortunate.

Meanwhile, the quiet chef who thoughtfully selected just the right elements created something truly magical.

Behold, a tale of two recipes. Marketing style.

The "Kitchen Sink Marketing Soufflé" (Warning: Likely to Collapse)

Throw all this into a huge mixing bowl:

  • two daily social media posts across seven platforms

  • a healthy dose of pop-up offers

  • generous portions of automated follow-up sequences

  • a bucketful of industry jargon

  • several trending buzzwords

  • a mountain of different calls-to-action

  • an endless stream of notifications

  • and maybe a tiny pinch of authenticity (if you're feeling generous)

Instructions? Whisk frantically while obsessively checking analytics. Toss everything at your audience simultaneously.

When engagement inevitably drops, just add more ingredients! Then wonder why your soufflé collapsed and your audience has disappeared.

Pairs well with cold coffee, imposter syndrome, and unpaid overtime.

The "Thoughtfully Restrained Business Bouillabaisse"

Begin with your authentic voice that's been lovingly marinated in personal stories. Gently fold in valuable content, allowing it to be fully absorbed by your audience.

Serve consistently in the places where your audience already gathers, allowing relationships to simmer. Resist the urge to over-season with sales pitches. Present your offer only when the flavors have properly developed.

Simmered slowly… because trust isn’t built in 30 seconds or less.

As Aunt Julia used to say: "Just because you can add every spice in the rack doesn't mean you should."

The master chef knows that restraint creates clarity of flavor.

The master content creator knows that restraint creates clarity of message.

Sara Blazic